My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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