thus making me awesome and them whores
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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