This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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