I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
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every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
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Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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