who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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