just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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