No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
