You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
