Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
