I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
