my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
