hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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