Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize