I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
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Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
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And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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