did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
