so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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