Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
