Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Rumble strips road head = magical
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
