Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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