Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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