I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
