I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
