I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
