But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
