i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
