Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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