Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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