so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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