she looked like the bat from fern gully.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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