He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
