you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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