omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
