he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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