I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
