even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
