3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
