Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
