Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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