i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize