the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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