so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
