I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize