my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
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I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
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And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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