i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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