What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
