even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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