weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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