three words: i give head
three words: not that well
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
