So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just high enough for therapy.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I have tasted many bathrooms
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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