Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
