Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
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