Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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