i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
