I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So many bounce houses so little time
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
