I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize