He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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