she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's never too late to be topless.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
