Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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