Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
How naked do you want me to be?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
