just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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